hmm. today was a wierd day... first part was cool tho haha finally met mr marcus foo afer 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years... which is my fault i KNOWWWWW haha. but ya was great to see him again and be reminded that no matter what, this dude loves me haha. love ya too :) tho i was super late and stuff, we had a good time catching up and what nots hehs. after tt met es for dinner and went wni which was qt ok too... then the wierdness started. first daddy din relaise i was there too and left without me which kinda made me grouchy cos i was qt tired and had diarrhoea for like 3 days alr and this annoying sty in my eye and i really din wanna go home myself. and dunno la just tired i guess. then went for supper with some other shalomers and some not so nice stuff were said and well yah. the night didnt end well
someone once told me that he cherished my friendship because i wasnt judgemental of him and i always was kinda confused by tt statement cos actually i thot i was judging him abt something at that pt in time but now i realise why he said that. i wish we could all learn to let go of the past and just forget. whats the pt of clinging on to past hurts and using them to hurt others today... it just creates a cycle of hurt and animosity and i dunno but it kinda disturbed me because it really does seem very hypocritical to be proclaiming the God of forgiveness and claiming the forgiveness of God and yet not forgiving what happened so long ago, and it just makes things so unpleasent that in a place where we are supposed to be able to be open about our shortcomings and supportive of each other, there are people tearing each other down. and i guess maybe he didnt mean it but clearly there is something in his heart he has not resolved and it just makes me sad to think that in the future when i hear him repeat the words no condemnation i will know that he does not mean what he says. im not saying that i myself am the most forgiving person in the world, or the most sensitive but he just went too far today. and now its like im starting to think, what do they say about me behind my back, what things abt me have they not let go of and are judging me with? its kinda shocking and yet hurtful at the same time. it was really not meant to be like this
anyway on a different note, my butt REALLY HURTS NOWWWWWW. crap man. im consoling myself tt im losing weight cos i haven been eating much and yet shitting ALOT. roarrrrrrs haha. its actually kinda very consoling haha. sorry mr loon tt u had to keep waiting for me at toilets and following me in my Toilet Quest arnd bedok today haha.
something is weighing on my mind...i want to be a leader that leads by example, and someone who my cell members feel ready to approach with thier problems and stuff, and somehow i feel that i am not. i really need to draw closer to God.
anyway, to all who cared, thanks... but yah i think i deserve the supp paper... so supp exam, here i come!
someone once told me that he cherished my friendship because i wasnt judgemental of him and i always was kinda confused by tt statement cos actually i thot i was judging him abt something at that pt in time but now i realise why he said that. i wish we could all learn to let go of the past and just forget. whats the pt of clinging on to past hurts and using them to hurt others today... it just creates a cycle of hurt and animosity and i dunno but it kinda disturbed me because it really does seem very hypocritical to be proclaiming the God of forgiveness and claiming the forgiveness of God and yet not forgiving what happened so long ago, and it just makes things so unpleasent that in a place where we are supposed to be able to be open about our shortcomings and supportive of each other, there are people tearing each other down. and i guess maybe he didnt mean it but clearly there is something in his heart he has not resolved and it just makes me sad to think that in the future when i hear him repeat the words no condemnation i will know that he does not mean what he says. im not saying that i myself am the most forgiving person in the world, or the most sensitive but he just went too far today. and now its like im starting to think, what do they say about me behind my back, what things abt me have they not let go of and are judging me with? its kinda shocking and yet hurtful at the same time. it was really not meant to be like this
anyway on a different note, my butt REALLY HURTS NOWWWWWW. crap man. im consoling myself tt im losing weight cos i haven been eating much and yet shitting ALOT. roarrrrrrs haha. its actually kinda very consoling haha. sorry mr loon tt u had to keep waiting for me at toilets and following me in my Toilet Quest arnd bedok today haha.
something is weighing on my mind...i want to be a leader that leads by example, and someone who my cell members feel ready to approach with thier problems and stuff, and somehow i feel that i am not. i really need to draw closer to God.
anyway, to all who cared, thanks... but yah i think i deserve the supp paper... so supp exam, here i come!
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